Funny things customers say

I’ve worked with the public for about 5 years now, and the things some of them come out with are just hilarious! I feel that it would be wrong to keep these moments to myself, so I’ve chosen my favorites to share with you!

“Here’s one I printed this morning.”It’s a classic, but it never fails to make me smile. I always have a sneaky check to make sure that it is actually real and the oldies aren’t just trying to throw me off the scent!

“Do you serve hot food?”
This was one of my favorites when I worked in restaurants and cafes – A) YOU ARE IN A RESTAURANT. B) Look at all the people seated at the tables tucking in to hot food. C) There’s a huge menu behind me, and one when you walked in… how did you miss that?! Also how do you expect a restaurant to survive if it just serves sandwiches and cold soup?

“Do you sell electric shavers?”I was asked this beauty today… I currently work in a BOOKSHOP. I sell books.

“Where can I find the book aisle?”Now this one I can kind of understand… we also sell newspapers and stationary. But the thing is that when this question was asked I was standing at the till – which is right in front of the four book aisles.

“Do you sell newspapers?”As I mentioned above, we do indeed sell newspapers. They’re right in front of the doors that you just came through to come and ask me if I sell newspapers.

“Do you know of anywhere in town where I could get this book, but cheaper?”Yeah.. if I did I’m definitely going to tell you who our competitors are aren’t I strange man in top hat.

“Do you sell nappies?”No… no I bloody well don’t. But if you’re really that desperate I will fashion you one out of newspaper and sellotape.

“Do you serve tea or coffee?”Again, this is when I worked in a restaurant/cafe. And again – A) YOU ARE IN A RESTAURANT. B) Look at all the people drinking out of cups with steam coming out of them. C) There’s a huge drinks menu behind me.
Sorry, we just serve water. Join the queue for the drinking trough.

This next one wasn’t a question, or even said to me. An elderly man was letting a woman slightly younger looking than him go before him in the queue. The words he chose to indicate that she could go first were amazing. “Age before beauty dear” – gesturing for her to go in front.

This one really annoys me. As I said we sell newspapers, one of them being the i daily for 20p.“Can I have a bag and a receipt then?!”
IT’S 20P. A CARRIER BAG, THE TILL ROLL AND THE INK PROBABLY COST MORE TO MAKE THAN YOUR BLOODY NEWSPAPER.. She also comes in every day to buy the same thing, always wanting a bag. And no, she isn’t buying it on behalf of someone else.

There’s many more brilliant lines that people come out with, but these are just my favorites. If anything similar happens to you in the workplace or you see things like this happen whilst shopping comment and let me know šŸ™‚


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