Yes you read that right. Instead of showing you guys how I made the perfect cookie, I’m going to show you how to screw it up.

Actually, these cookies were bloody delicious. They just didn’t look very nice… and they were flat. I ended up calling them ‘Flatscuits’ or ‘Flookies’ – like a flat biscuit/cookie! Anything to make them sound as if they were meant to turn out the way they did is fine with me. Everyone I gave one to looked a bit dubious at first, but when they tasted it they all agreed they were super tasty. So it’s kinda like a win within a fail.

I stumbled across this recipe by accident – I think it’s a BBC one but I’m not completely sure. I was actually looking for a ‘healthier’ cookie recipe, so how the hell I managed to end up using one that required two different types of sugar I don’t know! That’s probably why they were so delicious… the fact I chucked a whole bag of chocolate chips in there helped too!

350g plain flour                175g brown sugar
1 tsp bicarb soda             1 tsp vanilla extract
225g butter                         2 eggs
175g caster sugar
           and as many chocolate chips as you bloody want

As usual, I’m not going to note down the oven temperature because you should all know by now my oven cooks at it’s own pace. I think I had it on GM 6 and they were taking a good 20-25 mins to cook!

It’s a really simple method too which I loved about this. All you need to do is combine the flour and b.soda in one bowl and then both your sugars, butter, eggs and extract in another bowl. I didn’t add vanilla extract in mine as the only bottle I had decided to leak it’s entire contents all over the cupboard… I really don’t know how that happened. Maybe all the other flavourings got mad that they weren’t used as often… anyway…


Obviously you need to beat everything that’s in the sugar bowl together, and then add in your flour/b.soda and chocolate chips after.  I always thought that when you made cookies you were left with a dough at the end of the mixing process but mine seemed more like cake batter – I was too busy eating it to take a decent picture, somehow the one below is all I managed.


Sorry not sorry. It was a delicious batter and I was very sick. When I couldn’t eat anymore without fear of vomming everywhere, I lined a baking tray and just kind of globbed a few spoonfuls on there… that’s the only way I can describe what I did. I globbed it.

And then do you know what I did? I burnt the paper.


Yup. I’m good at it too. Not only that, but because the mixture was so runny this happened…


Not really a major issue I know. I just couldn’t understand how I’d managed to mess up something as simple as cookies!  Like I say, they’re actually really delicious so I don’t care that they’re not visually perfect – my taste buds were definitely impressed!

I won’t make these again for a while as they’re really unhealthy, but I hope that when I do make another batch I can ruin them as well as I did this time! They really are the King of the anti-cookie!

Have you ever attempted a simple recipe but somehow managed to make a mess of it? Let me know in the comments!


2 thoughts on “HOW NOT TO MAKE COOKIES

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